


An Unexpected Delay

by SelenaTerna



Series: Time Petals Prompt Fics [10]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Humour, Prompt Fic, Romance, public nudity (non-explicit), silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 13:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11253876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelenaTerna/pseuds/SelenaTerna
Summary: Rose and the Doctor go on a sightseeing tour, and Jack, who is supposed to join them, doesn't turn up. At least, not where they expect him to.





	An Unexpected Delay

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies! This is my entry for the TPP summer bingo prompt 'sight-seeing'. Also, as a background, this story was written after some very strange things happened to me on the way to work today, not the least of which was the fact that I saw a naked man doing...things....to a stair-rail at a train station. Most of the characters in this story and their reactions are a toned down version of the people who were on the train with me, in real life, it was one of the police officers who waved at me, rather than the, er, naked guy. LOL. I was texting mountaingirlheidi at the time and she had the rather dubious pleasure of hearing exactly what happened and dealing with my trauma as it progressed- Heidi, hope you enjoy this LOL! It sorta spread from there- Jeeno2 and Caedmon, I hope you enjoy this too! :)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this lunacy, and if not, please don't hate me, LOL!

“Hurry up, Doctor! We’re going to miss the train!”

“Alright, alright, I’m comin’! Stop your moanin’!” He loped into the carriage and they settled into the last empty seat. “See, made it.” He looked around. “Where’s Jack?”

Rose shrugged as the doors closed and the train rose slowly off the ground, preparing to depart on its daily scenic tour of the Lasdei Jungle. “Dunno. He said he’d meet us here. Must’ve wandered off somewhere.”

The Doctor scowled. “He’d better stay out of trouble. His ‘wandering off’ nearly got us thrown into Kitarian jail last time.”

Rose shook her head. “I still can’t believe he tried to chat up the king’s two hundred year old grandmother.”

“Man’s a bloody menace,” the Doctor grumbled. “Still don’t know why we keep him around.”

“Oh come on, Doctor, don’t be like that.” She lifted his arm and snuggled under it. “The train’s movin’ and we’re finally goin’ to see this jungle you’ve been ravin’ about! Forget about Jack and his over-active pheromones, yeah? Let’s just enjoy the scenery.”

His gaze raked her from head to toe. “Oh, I am. I’m enjoyin’ the scenery very much, thanks.”

She rolled her eyes. “Behave, you! There’s other people on this train.”

He blinked at her innocently. “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about Rose- innocent as a newborn Hyperoan lamb, me.”

She lifted her eyebrows. “I don’t think so, Mr I-Get-Us-Caught-Every-Time!”

“Oi!”

“Remember that time on Theoa?” She reminded him pointedly. “And getting caught on the Chancellor’s private balcony even though you swore no one would come that way?”

“You can’t go blamin’ me for that- how was I supposed to know the Chancellor was meetin’ his ‘special friend’ in exactly the same spot? Besides.” His eyes burned with blue fire. “You were wearin’ the red dress.”

She shivered at the look in his eyes. “So it’s my fault you can't keep your hands to yourself, is it?”

“Yeah, I reckon it is.” His eyes blazed as he inched closer. “You’re very cruel, tormentin’ this old man, Rose Tyler.”

“Yeah?” In spite of herself, she moved closer, licking her lips. “And if I don’t stop? What you gonna about it?”

“Nothin’ for it,” he said lowly, his gaze fixed on her lips. “Have to teach you a lesson in consequences.”

With that, he caught her lips with his own and kissed her so thoroughly she could have sworn everything else had disappeared. His hand stroked up and down her back before creeping around slowly sliding upwards under her jumper. In return, her hands slid down his back until she’d grabbed hold of his bum and squeezed.

He growled and pulled her closer, moulding her body to his. Rose whimpered, feeling him against her and tried to press closer, wanting to-

“Excuse me!”

The two of them froze, and pulled apart with a loud sucking sound. Rose took a deep breath turned to the enraged woman with a smile. “Yes?”

“I must insist you cease this vulgar display immediately!”

“Oi!” The Doctor folded his arms and glared at the neon green woman. “Nothin’ wrong with a bloke kissin’ his wife, is there?”

The woman glared right back. “No, hut there is something utterly vulgar about a couple molesting each other and practically copulating in a public place!”

Seeing the Doctor was about to argue, and fearing a rant of epic proportions, Rose broke in. “She’s right Doctor, we took it too far.” Turning back to the woman, she forced a smile. “We’re sorry, honestly- we didn’t mean to get so carried away.”

The other woman huffed. “See that it doesn’t happen again! There are decency laws on this planet, you know.”

As soon as she left, Rose turned to the Doctor and huffed. “See! That’s what I mean!”

“Now now Rose, don’t you go blamin’ me- I remember someone’s hands grabbin’ me bum not too long ago.”

“Shhhhhh!” She blushed. “Aren’t we in enough trouble already?” She lowered her voice. “If you wait until we get back to the TARDIS, I’ll make it worth your while.”

The Doctor grinned wickedly. “That so?”

She smiled, tongue tucked in her teeth. “Don’t I always?”

The Doctor’s smirk was _dangerous_. “That you do love. Better be careful, though- might retaliate.”

“”M countin’ on it,” she purred.

“ _Hello? Testing, testing!”_

The voice boomed through the train and made them jump, ruining the mood somewhat. But then, Rose supposed, considering the direction the conversation had been going in, that was probably a good thing. They didn’t need to be told off _again_.

“Right! Can you all hear me? Brilliant!” The voice belonged to a young-looking woman at the front of the train. Judging by the uniform, she was the tour guide. “We have a rather full program this morning, ladies and gentleman, so it’s best to get started! As you know, our tour today will be entered on the Lasdei Jungle, one of the oldest natural jungles remaining in the Yelpan Galaxy. As previously mentioned, we will not be able to leave the train until the tour has concluded, which means that no passengers will be permitted to disembark  at any point in the jungle due to preservation concerns. However, the train will stop at strategic points to permit photography and sight sighing from inside the train. The train has several photography galleries which are clearly marked, and contain all of the requisite equipment for your convenience.” 

The train slowed and came to a stop in a beautiful clearing moments later, with beautiful trees in a vast array or colours and lush vegetation, alongside a running stream. The tour guide took the microphone again.

“Our first stop today is at the Clearing of Utter and Total Serenity, so named because no one has set foot in it for over a thousand years. I-oh! Oh _no!”_

“What? What is it?” Rose pressed her hands to the glass and peered outside. Suddenly, she saw it. “Oh my _God_!”

“Harkness!” The Doctor gawked. “What in the name of the Seven Systems is he doing to that tree?”

“I-! He’s…he’s….oh My God…he’s naked and…and… _pole-dancing a_ round the tree! Oh my God. Oh my God.” She turned to the Doctor, slack-jawed. “I can’t _believe_ him! Especially after last time! And who pole dances around a _tree?_ ”

The Doctor shook his. “Coppers’ll be after him in no time- not supposed to set foot into that jungle and he's gone and defiled a tree with his gyratin’!” He turned to her. “And his moves aren’t even that good.”

“Doctor!” 

“What?” He protested. “I’m just sayin’!”

She huffed and rolled her eyes. “The only _dance_ moves in I’m interested in are yours, Doctor, OK? No need to get jealous.”

“‘I’m not jealous! I’m just pointin’ out the facts!” He paused. “Besides, he’s not even that impressive.” He grinned his daft, beautiful grin, blue  eyes brimming with mirth. “If you know what I mean.”

“Oh my God, seriously?” She half-laughed. “That’s all your worried about?”

“Not worried, me! Just saying.’” He smirked, and then suddenly peered out the window again. “Bugger, here they come.”

In spite of herself, Rose looked out the window and immediately burst into gales of laughter to see the red-suited police officers chasing Jack around the clearing.  One of them was waving a pair of trousers which he obviously meant to put on Jack, who was dodging through trees and running circles around the shocked officers. Finally, one of them managed to trip him up and the others pounced, fighting until the trousers had been put on and fastened.

Finally looking up, a disgruntled Jack noticed the train as the officers restrained him and being Jack, he blew a kiss before they took him away.

The Doctor exhaled and turned back to Rose. “Well, how’s _that_ for sight-seeing?”

Rose giggled, and was about to reply when she was cut off by another announcement, this time from the driver.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but due to the unplanned public humping, extra time is needed to process this disturbing sight and to allow the fits to pass. Thank you for your patience.”

* * *

 

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please direct any comments or questions to me at countessselena.tumblr.com.


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